Unfortunately I was one of the few people for whom medical management doesn't work and although I bled, the baby didn't pass and I still was having bad morning sickness. As there was a small risk of damage with the op, I went for the medical management. There is also a risk of infection with waiting) or medical management which is taking tablets like the abortion pill or having an op under general anaesthetic. I was offered choice of waiting to see if I miscarried naturally (but it had clearly by then already been 2 and a half weeks since the baby's heart had stopped beating and I was still suffering just as bad morning sickness as ever. I had the second scan a week later as I wanted to make sure there hadn't been a mistake and the baby definitely hadn't grown in that time. My GP referred me to the local NHS EGU where I had to have two more scans as they have to do two scans to ensure the first person didn't make a mistake. Even despite that I hoped that somehow dates were wrong. I had a similar experience to you at my private 8 week scan for my only pregnancy so far but my baby was measuring 7 weeks 5 days and no heartbeat. There’s things worth getting prepared for incase things do start naturally - I’m happy to send you a list of ideas of what helped me - do you want to message me directly? Xx Your right it may well happen naturally - mine didn’t and I held onto it for another 3 weeks before I could have the procedure. I had some great counselling through work, as my clinic and NHS had long waiting lists. Reach out to Tommy’s for support and also miscarriage association has lots of info and stories from different women’s experiences. It’s so upsetting and extra trauma you don’t need. I also called my clinic in tears at the time to try and get them involved but they said they couldn’t intervene. But like you said and we know if there’s no heartbeat then we know it’s not going to change. I think sadly hospitals have these new guidelines in place that they have to use their own scans and leave a certain amount of time as in the past pregnancies were terminated which could have progressed. I know, I felt exactly the same, it was infuriating, unkind, felt spiteful and dragging the pain out. Thinking of you and sending you lots of strength xx I’ve certainly heard examples when baby has picked up. I know we are realistic through our IVF journeys and almost through self preservation protect our hearts, but try to keep eating nutritious food and taking your meds just on the off chance. I hope my story isn’t the norm and other consultants/EPAU’s would be more supportive and kind. I then went into hospital for medical management and passed the baby there. Is there any counselling you can access at all? For me I got referred to an EPAU, my body would not let go of the pregnancy naturally, sadly my local hospital would not accept my clinic notes so I had to be rescanned and then told to wait another two weeks to see if the baby picked up (I knew it wouldn’t but to be put through that extra wait and pain was horrible). All I can suggest is just doing whatever you can to get through each day until your next scan. This time waiting in limbo is the hardest. I can remember the pain and devastation like it was yesterday and my heart goes out to you. I went back a week later for a scan (again on my own) to be told it hadn’t grown and there was no heartbeat. Last July I had a similar experience, our first round of IVF and at my first reassurance scan - I was on my own because of Covid restrictions to be told it was measuring small at 7 and a half weeks and they could only see a faint flicker of a heartbeat, similarly I was told it could go either way but certainly they seemed to be suggesting it was unlikely to be good news.
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